Purpose--the reason you are alive

I don't know where exactly this quote originated from, but it holds dear to my heart. 

Having a rough morning? Place your hand over your heart. Feel that? That's called purpose. You're alive for a reason. Don't give up.

I must remember the purpose behind my work—it is for the Lord. I had a rough morning. When I arrived in OB, there was a little one on the counter in the corner of the room. Anna and I went over to the little girl and did a physical assessment. She was freezing, had a weak heartbeat, had visible retractions, and her lungs sounds were not clear to auscultation. We sought medical attention. The small child was on oxygen via nasal cannula and I picked her up with her bundle of blankets and slid her into my zip up to acquire some of my body heat. Then I shared little one with Anna. The doctor came in and did an assessment on the woman in labor on the table, and determined the need for a cesarean section due to large fetus, increased fetal heart tones, and meconium. I started an IV on her and put in a foley and then Ashli came in to assist with surgery so that Anna could stay with the little one that wasn’t adapting to life outside of her mother. The doctors said it was only a matter of time until little one passed. Ashli and I wheeled mama over to major theatre and prepped her for surgery and then stood by waiting for baby to arrive. I got the opportunity to catch the baby, and I hurried over to place babycakes on the table. We had to perform manual resuscitation, and were successful in our efforts. Christ used our hands to help this baby breath. 

 

This is the OB ward where woman have their babies. The blue bundle on the right is where you place the baby after it is born and work on resuscitation. In this photo, that blue bundle is a bundle of joy that has gone to live with Jesus in heaven. 

When I arrived back in OB, there was a bundle in the corner of the room, and I knew immediately that this precious child had joined Jesus in heaven. Anna was not present, and I walked over to the bundle, just to double check. Sure enough, she had passed on from this world. Death is something that surrounds us on a daily basis, and no matter how many times I deal with death, it is something that you can never prepare for. I don’t even have words for how I felt then, or how I feel now. It’s just a fact of life that I have to accept, and move on with. The most comfort I get is that God is in control. He has blessed me with the ability to see new life come into this world, and he has shown me the sorrow of life passing on from this world. I know that everything works out for the good of those who love him.

The ward got quiet, Anna and I changed sheets, and enjoyed each other’s company. She informed me that she held little girl as she went to see Jesus. This brought a smile to my face, because this baby did not die alone, sitting in the corner of a room. It was in the arms of a wonderful young woman, enjoying the love of her fellow sister in Christ. We continued with our efforts to put fitted sheets in the shape of squares on rectangle beds. Then we folded gauze, which is considered bubblegum of the mind. I enjoy the relaxation of folding the gauze, maybe because I am in control of that situation and it keeps my mind focused on something other than the negative. Anna and I talked, and Miss Patty came in and joined us as well for a little bit. Soon enough it was time to head to lunch.

On the way back after lunch, I was already exhausted. OB, fortunately, was slow. I assisted as needed throughout the wards. After everything was done for the day, we went to enjoy some time with our burn patients. I must say—pop rocks are a big hit. The children, as well as the adults, LOVE the candy. Hands reach out for more and even Bibi wanted some pop rocks. Allison and I spent a good portion of time with Nazifa. She was in a good mood today, and would laugh at us frequently. Allison taught her how to mimic faces and voices. I have not seen a smile so large since I have been in Africa. This precious little girls face will be in my memories for years and years to come.